I’ve got some rants and raves. But I’m gonna try to balance them out with positives. Wish me luck. The rants and raves just come so easily.
It took me a while to find out what these things are. At first I thought it was some kind of action figure tasing device. Or maybe Robert “One-String” Gibson‘s musical instrument. But what I found out was that they’re some kind of new-fangled tooth-cleaning apparatuses (apparati?). A fancy-man’s toothpick, one might say. Which only makes me more disgusted. Because they are ALL OVER THE PLACE. Seriously, people. Can’t you take your disgusting personal hygiene products and dispose of them properly?!
This is what goes on in the lost and found of the church. Apparently this medieval knight was too much for both Superman and the zebra power ranger to handle. But, like a true chivalrous gentleman, he at least called the ambulance to pick them up. I hear Medieval Times has an opening… I’m not sure about the zebraranger though…there seems to be a lot of blood pouring from his body. Jesus looks on in the distance. And, in case he has trouble seeing as he’s looking on, there are about 40 pairs of glasses and sunglasses on another shelf (not pictured).
These are cables. We had some work done on the church a couple of weeks ago, and I believe these were involved in lifting the platform up that they used to do the work from. Apparently these cables were also “dragged across the roof, causing huge holes that when it rained the other day, allowed rain to get in” to the inner-ceiling, which left “huge water stain marks” on it. These “huge water stain marks” are also known as shadows, caused by light shining on something and casting a darkness. But, although it doesn’t apply here, I’ll give you this tip. If you ever want to open holes in your roof for purposes of irrigation, just drag cables similar to these across it. That will be cheap and solve all your problems. Trust me, it works. Or at least I’ve been told. And I believe it, because of who told me. It was the same person who told me furniture polish is wax (the same furniture polish whose commercials say “does not contain wax”), and that using it on pews will make people slip and fall and get wax all over their clothes. Even if that were true, though, the pews were roped off, so it shouldn’t be an issue. Oh wait, you took the ropes off the pews, genius? Thanks for being helpful. Next time, at least wait til it’s dry.
This is what I got to witness yesterday. The picture tells 90% of the story. The rest goes like this. That used to be a loading zone in front of the church. For some reason, it’s not anymore, even though they only took down one of the two signs that stated it was a loading zone. So, the employee who owns the silver car (see diagram) has been parking there every day, instead of in the lot that is only for employees (and special guests, but I won’t go there), so that he doesn’t get blocked in. I also won’t go into how I feel about someone taking up a public spot that has a perfectly good private spot…wait, that sounds dirty…but you know what i mean. On this particular day, “employee” was trying to help a random person squeeze their chevy blazer into that spot. What you don’t see is that there was a perfectly larger spot, which would’ve fit the blazer, and then some, behind the truck that the blazer is trying to squeeze in front of. Why not park there? I have no idea. What you also don’t see is that in the process of squeezing in, blazer “love-tapped” the car behind it no fewer than 3 times, and I think the car in front of it once. Well, “love-tap” may be accurate for the car in front, but I think a more appropriate phrase for the car behind it is probably “dry-humped.”
Ah, finally, it’s time for the balance. I was listening to our rehearsal party the other day, and every time I listen to it, I think, how awesome is it that we have all these talented friends that love us enough to come out and perform for us?! And not just at the rehearsal party, but at the reception as well. And these aren’t your average joe schmoe’s with a guitar playing on the corner of Royal and something-street. Nono, these are highly seasoned veterans! And they’re here for US! Makes me feel all warm and gooey inside. Feel free to check out an older post I had to download the rehearsal show. I’ll put up the reception stuff after I watch it at the end of the month. Also, feel free to go to Robin Walker Photography and hire her and buy her stuff, or at least go get a drink from her at Banks Street Bar on Saturday nights.
Finally, how awesome is this?! Granted, I didn’t make it to the parade, but I did get some beads from it, and saw Cowboy Mouth play for the first time since Jazz Fest. A whole show for the first time since February. Yeah, I know! I didn’t get the game, since I barely play the 2009 one I have, but I just may have to get this one when the price drops. Just because it’ll finally be a NFL video game where the Saints don’t absolutely suck. Yeah, take that, Tecmo Bowl! :-Þ
Alright! Let’s get ready for Wednesday!
